The big birthdays are on even decades, well except for your first one and maybe 16...but still the birthdays with a 0 at the end seem to hold a great punch.  I've spent some time thinking about my life in these 10 year chunks, remembering the past and straining into the future.  It appears these are more universal in our western culture than personal, so though I've shared from my own story I believe they speak to all our stories, individually and even as a community.  Here goes...

10 - At this point, having been around for my first full decade, was a great big deal!  As a kid on a Navy base 10 meant getting your ID card.  An ID card  allowed you to go and do lots of things without your parents.  Suddenly shopping at the convenience store, commissary and exchange was a possibility.  My brother and I could now buy Debbie Cakes and Sodas to our hearts' content, or as long as our allowance lasted.  The swimming pools and movie theaters, all options!  Having that ID Card meant independence, it meant I was growing up.  A birthday with no regrets only promise of great things to come.

20 - Now this one is a 0 without as much punch.  You know the birthday between 18 and 21.  It is still the turning of the page from adolescence and childhood to adulthood.  Most of life and the big life decisions are still in the future but at this point they are mine to make.  Like lots of people, during these years I was consumed with finding a partner to do life with, choosing and moving into a career, buying a home and a car...so many decisions made that have impacted the rest of my life.  They were all made with little idea of what I was doing.  I can see that now but was clueless then.

30 - The middle of child-bearing and child-rearing.  At this point I had 2 girls and would soon have 2 more.  I was still working as a teacher.  This was such a busy time with home improvements and little kids that not much thought was given to really long range things.  At this point the major patterns of life that would continue through today were put in place.  We were active in church and community, committed to kids and home and family, willing to do things ourselves and starting to slip into a rut.  But it was in this birth year that I decided to learn to do the things I really wanted to do, so I learned to decorate cakes and sew.  Sewing changed everything, became an overwhelming obsession and the fuel for much of my life.  It's interesting, that choice has driven design, time, hobbies and is the primary reason I'm a band uniform mom. 

40 - The year of massive change.  A move to Virginia.  A call to ministry.  A seminary education.  Return to employment and then ordination.  I call it the year I turned everything upside down.  These are the years when that haunting feeling began to creep in.  The feeling that I might wake up one day and have missed my own life.  That one day, the girls I had invested my life in were going to leave me and then what?  Having left what was home and the picture of life we had built over so many years in Georgia, having found out we were living in a rut and seeing the picture shatter, having done the hard work to get out of the rut, these things meant the future was wide open as well.  What now? 

50 - And so I've made it to 50, 51 really.  It seems at this point that life needs drastic change every decade to remain living and not begin dying.  It's less predictable than I always thought it was, way more out-of-control  and both more fun and more painful than I'd have ever believed.  This year I did way too many funerals and have found they marked me deeply.  I have a sense of the urgency of life that I've never had before.  I can see the downhill slope and am aware of its presence.  At 5 years each I'll only own 6 or 7 more cars!  Some things will simply never be and others will happen without plans. 

This would be really scary, and it is some times.  This would be really wild, and it is sometimes.  But there is one constant that kept me at 10, 20, 30, 40 & 50 from utter fear or wild abandon.  There is one constant that I know can be counted on at 60, 70 & even 80.  Before the first 0 birthday, even before the day of my birth there was God.  No matter where i went or what choices I made, there was God.  No matter where I go or choices I make, there will be God.  I'd like to say that settles all anxiety, calms every nerve, gives certain direction for the day, week and year...but it doesn't.  What God does do is provide hope, not the fulfillment of my wishes, but hope in a greater plan than I can imagine.  Hope in love and provision.  Hope in the future, what ever that may look like.

    I received the call Tuesday afternoon asking if I would perform a funeral Wednesday evening.  The family wanted a pastor but really had no one to call.  My week was packed so I asked them to call around.  They did but it was me or no one.  So I did the funeral.  I put together the brief service, knowing nothing other than what was in the short obituary.  When I came to the part about "sermon" I was thinking well, what do you say?  Some funerals I know the person, spend time with the family, find the thread that runs through their lives and bring that out in the eulogy or sermon.  But this time?  I've done this kind of thing before and though it seems a little awkward or strange it is what I'm called to do, it's just what I do. 
    So I arrive at Covenant Funeral Services in Stafford.  I'm greeted by the familiar faces of the Covenant staff.  Jerry takes me to meet the family.  As I walk down the center aisle I look at the picture of Eva Salinas, a beautiful woman, with something familiar in her eyes, her face.  I don't know her.  I don't know any of her family.  There is just something familiar.  Jerry introduces me to her family and I begin to learn...this is a lady that was loved deeply.  Her daughter shows me the pic of Eva with her dogs.  It is sitting on a table beside a small doll.  Then I find the thread...you know the thread that makes us the same. 
    Eva was a seamstress, a lady who made dolls.  The room has several of her masterpieces.  Raggedy Ann and Andy with hand sewn hair, deeply hemmed garments, embroidered eyes.  I gaze at the pictures of Eva working at her big, commercial sewing machine and the threads of my heart are pulled...my mother made dolls, attached hair, embroidered faces...my Aunt Jayne seated at her commercial machine, sewing dresses, appliqueing letters...the threads tie us together.
    When the service began it was no longer a room filled with strangers, instead it was a room of people who were and are connected by threads of love and laughter.  Many times we believe that we are somehow unique, isolated, alone. We come to believe there is no one else that can understand , that feels like we do.  But that isn't true.  You see in our hearts are common threads; threads of love, threads of sorrow, threads of joy.  We only need look for a short time and we'll discover that we have much more in common with the other threads in the tapestry of life than we have differences.  We are so inter-woven and connected.  We delight in food that is lovingly prepared, whether that's a homemade tortilla like Eva fixed or a biscuit like Mama Teague baked.  We treasure things thoughtfully and lovingly made with us in mind.  We love each other, our families and friends.  We know joy at birth and sorrow at death.  We are all threads in the tapestry of life, living our color and texture but still going in and out, up and down, as long strands like the other threads.
    God made us as individuals that desperately need a community.  Our individuality is nestled between other individuals, if we can but look around.  If we risk the awkward, hear the stories, see the threads of others and share the threads of our own hearts.  Even with a stranger you'll find a common thread and get a glimpse of glory in the tapestry of life.

    It's been one of those weeks and honestly it looks like there are two more coming.  You know that's just how it is sometimes.  One thing right after the other, before you can look up from this concern another has appeared on the horizon.  When it gets really bad the next problem has clunked you in the head before you can see it coming.  Broken stuff, more things to take care of, people being mean, more broken stuff, sickness, injury, more broken stuff, storms of life or just plain old storms...it's just that way sometimes I suppose.  After being whacked around for awhile you finally think it's just you doing battle with the world.
    I find myself knowing in my head that God is in the whirlwind with me but struggling with my moment-to-moment-heart-focus.  I've been walking the road of faith long enough to not wonder about God's love or wisdom but I'm a long way from saint so I still carry questions about why God does and doesn't do what seems needed.  It's really good that Jesus said to let the children come because I'm not much more mature than the average child when life is uncomfortable, difficult, hurtful and cruel. 
    So I'm at Hanover High School following the Lee-Davis Marching Band, like I do all fall.  The kids are in costumes, eating pizza, laughing and playing.  The weather outside is cold and wet.  YUCK!  I'm having one of those, poor-pitiful-me-days.  Taking stock of all the misery...earthquakes, hurricanes, stolen cars, broken septic lines, injuries, assorted mean people and ugliness...I take my paper plate over to the trash can to throw it away.  The janitor is standing beside the can, smiling, getting ready to clean up.  He spoke, I spoke, we were talking about the weather and then quickly on to the "hard winter" that's ahead.  He looks at me and says, "God's watching out for us you know. He put the firewood on the ground so it'll be easy for us to get to."  I looked, shocked, perspective shifting, then realize I'll never look at my big fallen Oak tree the same again.  What was a problem, a loss, transformed into God's assistance with firewood.
    Though I can't see it, God is making firewood, lending a hand, loving and guiding and holding and carrying and loving us each one.  You see it's not about me or my perspective.  It's not about you or your perspective.  It is all about God and God's Almighty perspective.  I don't think God does mean stuff and I don't think God makes everything happen but I do think God makes everything amount to good if we can give enough time and distance.  LI

I'm not usually very interested in the lives and events of the rich and famous.  I don't follow hyped up trials and tragedies.  They just don't really hold my attention.  But there are exceptions. 

I remember the night Harry Chapin died as though it were yesterday.  Andrew and I grieved like a close friend was gone.  We had enjoyed Harry's music, been to a concert and really loved the things he stood for.  Harry Chapin was completely committed to feeding the hungry of the world.  And to this day, his foundation is doing just that, taking proceeds from his life and investing them in food for the world.

Steve Jobs death is, like Harry, different than the average "rich and famous" person, different than most people actually.  Steve Jobs was driven, highly focused and clear in his life's purpose.  He failed and got back up to try again.  He was driven from his own company, learned, regrouped and went back in.  He used his natural attention to detail and appreciation of design to impact the lives of millions and in the end he impacted the world.  I type this note on my almost 4 year old MacBook Pro.  Since its purchase Apple has developed the iPhone and iPad, machines that are as beautiful as they are functional.  Steve Jobs held a high standard for himself and for everyone he worked with.  A standard of sacrifice to make a design that is both high quality and elegant, functional and beautiful, technically sophisticated but simple to use. 

What would happen if we as the church had a Steve Jobs or two?  You know, leaders that could see clearly what is there to be done and then were willing to hold that unflinching focus and demand it of others.  What would happen if we as the church, could present our wonderful message in both elegant and high quality ways.  If we were both functional and beautiful, technically sophisticated and easy to use.  I believe God is at work in the Harry's and Steve's of this world.  After all, every good thing, every true, loving thought is the product of God's creation. 

Maybe we can't all be Harry Chapin or Steve Jobs, but their contribution was only possible because they were willing to be all that they were created to be, not trying to be someone else.  But couldn't we each put our minds to being fully what we are supposed to be?  What would happen if we were driven and focused to maximize our contributions to the world?  If we desired with our deepest hearts to change the world?

Harry wrote a song, "I Wonder What Would Happen to This World".  These lyrics sum up well why these individuals mattere  Read them and see what you think, about them and well, about your own life. 

"Now if a man tried
To take his time on Earth
And prove before he died
What one man's life could be worth
Well I wonder what would happen to this world

And if a woman
She used her life line
As something more than
Some man's servant mother wife time
Well I wonder what would happen to this world

Oh well I wonder...What would happen to this world
Well I wonder what would happen to this world."